Chapter 7 – BENNY LEE 
(Excerpt from “Feed My Lambs”, the Joy Ranch story)

By Mary McHenry

To the beginnings of Joy Ranch belongs the story of Benny Lee (not his real name), a boy who lived through 161 visiting Sundays at the home with no visitor he could really call his own, yet who gave mile-wide smiles to all who came to visit his friends. Oh, there were a few other children – mercifully few – with like disappointments.  I think of Tommy and remember how he watched each approaching car as a marooned sailor watches the horizon. And Helen, who stared hungrily at every woman entering our doors and wondered where her mother was. 

But most often I think of Benny. There was courage for you – to go on smiling when the other fellow always gets what you so desperately want. But more than that, I admired the ability he showed to accept fully and graciously the bitter chunks of life along with the sweet tidbits that occasionally came his way. 

Unlike Benny, most of us are perhaps a little inclined, as Robert Louis Stevenson put it, “to . . . demand joy as a birthright.”  We expect to live without trouble and sorrow, and we are shattered when we meet them. It seems reasonable for us to believe that we are God’s favorites, and we hope to escape the chastening and hurt that we see others receiving. We forget that our spiritual birthright includes correction (Hebrews 12:6), which is at times the angelic visitation of sorrow – that He might conform us “to the image of His Son.” 

I am often amazed at the selfishness of my own heart in expecting God to favor me in the way of comforts and freedom from the hardships of life. And I think that I would do well to emulate Benny Lee’s habit of accepting life’s disappointments and heartaches happily – yes, even with a smile at times. I daresay Benny’s smiles far outnumbered his tears. 

In fact, as far as I know, he shed tears only twice during the three years he lived at Joy Ranch. He wept aloud, even though he was almost 14, during the devotional period of his first evening with us. He had just left his fourth foster home; and later that night he came to our room and said, “If I can’t stay here, I guess I’ll have to go to jail because they have no other place to put me.” He went to bed after we assured him of our love. 

The second time was a year or so later when Benny and I were unpacking my service-for-eight china dinner set. For some reason (perhaps he wanted to see if he could lift the table with all those dishes on it), Benny took hold of one end of the table and lifted it up. Believe me, it sounded like an avalanche of rocks as those 56 pieces of china slid from the table top and hit the cement floor of our playroom. 

Our eyes met; we neither smiled nor spoke. We bent down; and while our tears mingled and made sad little pools in the broken bits of china, we picked up the pieces.  We both pretended to forget, and Benny began to smile again. 

Perhaps his love for me came through most clearly when it was necessary to punish him for wrongdoing. No matter what form of discipline I used, I could always be sure of my reward: a smile and a quick hug from Benny for all my trouble. 

From Benny I learned the meaning, not only of acceptance, but of a calm and trustful acceptance of sorrow, trial, or testing because we have our Father’s Word for it that He loves us with an everlasting love. 

Perhaps we can’t always smile through our heartaches; but, like Benny, we can throw the arms of our souls around the One Who is correcting us and give to Him the complete acceptance and love of our hearts. 

The story of Benny would not be complete without an account of his tragic death. When he was 17, he wanted to go somewhere to learn a trade; and since he loved farming and animals, he went to live and work on a dairy farm in an adjoining county. Sometime later we received word that Benny had had his car on a jack and was repairing a tailpipe when the vehicle fell, pinning him beneath it. He died instantly. 

We grieved, but we remembered that during his stay at Joy Ranch Benny had received Christ as his Savior. So I believe he will be waiting for us in heaven. 

Yes, of course I shall know him. I can see him now, standing there by the gate – smiling. 

[If you like this story, please check out the entire “Feed My Lambs” blog post series which includes chapters from the original book.]