Tokens of Love

By Erin Austin

Working in a children’s home is hard. In fact, if one were to look at the national average of how long employees work in a children’s home, it’s nine months. And I get it. Evil is very real, and we see its long-lasting impact on a daily basis. To daily choose to get in the trenches with these kids and help them break free of all that’s been done to them is hard. As Mary McHenry once said, we give away pieces of ourselves to these kids.

“The work was not without pain. We soon found that everything personal had to go. It meant a complete commitment to the children. This was not preaching and teaching a Sunday school class. This was not visiting the sick, reading a Scripture, and offering a prayer. Oh, it included all these, but caring for the children often meant ministering to a sick child (or children) all night long – after the prayers had been said. Children require constant care, and we learned to be ‘keepers at home’ for love of Him Who left His home and kingly throne because He cared for us.

“And there was a greater, a more intense, pain. As the children came, some with serious emotional problems, we had to come face to face with the seething truth that there would be some cases in which we would have to accept failure, or at least apparent failure. Our only comfort was that, by the grace of God, we would never lose hope that each child would ultimately become a fruitful child of God and a productive citizen. For this we lived” (Mary McHenry).

Everyone who works at Joy Ranch has been here for years, which is a testament to the power of God. In and of ourselves, I think we all would have left a long time ago, not because it’s a bad place, but simply because seeing the depravity of man on a regular basis is heart-wrenching. How can we explain what we ourselves don’t understand? To have a child who is afraid take a bath because she was sexually abused in the bathroom is incomprehensible. To have a child sleep with his shoes on because he was trained at a young age that he needed to be ready to run at a moment’s notice doesn’t make sense. To have a child be afraid to go to sleep at night because he thinks all the food will be gone in the morning when he wakes up is heartbreaking. Yet these are just a few of the things we see on a regular basis. Placing a child in a safe place doesn’t automatically make them feel safe. It takes continual work and experience after experience for a child to begin to trust and truly believe that what happened with his mom and dad won’t happen here. It’s exhausting, maddening, and grief-filled. And, we do it day after day, not because we’re a glutton for punishment, but because we’ve been called to love the least of these.

I often say I don’t know how anyone does what we do without Jesus. Honestly, that’s probably why the national average for children’s home employees is less than a year. It’s also why the majority of Joy Ranch’s employees have been here for over ten years. We’ve learned that we can’t do what needs to be done to heal these kids. That’s a job only God can do. What we can do is get up each day, partner with God, and let Him lead and love through us. Little by little, we see progress. A child will go to bed without wearing a helmet, knowing she is safe. A girl will stop hiding food under her bed knowing she will be able to eat whenever she wants. A boy will say “I love you” and give a precious hug and you know he genuinely means it. And those sweet, wonderful moments show us the miracle-working power of our Savior’s love.

We can’t help every child, nor does every child want our help. But as we step into each new day, willing to love and serve, we experience what happens when God’s presence steps onto the scene. Not only do the children change, but we find that we are touched as well. Yes, we give away pieces of ourselves, but maybe that’s not a bad thing. For in the end, our God heals our wounds and fills those places with His love.

“I have nothing to do today but fulfill the will of God.” ~ Mary McHenry